Culture of Truth: Very Serious Correspondents

May 4, 2014  – Political satirist Culture of Truth bases The Bobblespeak Translations on Meet the Press and This Week with George Stephanopoulos. Using show transcripts, he creates the 'most ridiculous moment' for Virtually Speaking Sundays.

Hi I'm Culture of Truth,

Today the very serious Sunday talk shows were preoccupied with the Beltway media's favorite subject – itself.

Read the complete translation

Read the complete translation

The topic of the day was the White House Correspondents Dinner, an annual event where the Beltway media invites a comedian to make fun of Washington, and then get offended when actual jokes are told about their very serious profession and the people they cover.

 

On This Week, Jeff Zeleny talked to Al Franken, observing that he has turned himself into a serious person, to which he responded, quote “I was always a serious person.”

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar said that more white people believe in ghosts than is racism, which is “why we have shows like Ghostbusters and don't have shows like Racist-buster.”

Martha Raddatz saw US troops practicing for another embassy attack, Rick Santorum said there's a firestorm out there across America of people believe Congress has not investigated Benghazi enough, while Laura Ingraham said the American people want prosecutions over Benghazi.

On Meet the Press, David Gregory spoke with Sacramento mayor and former NBA player Kevin Johnson, who praised the NBA commissioner for exceeding all the players expectations within 72 hours, but Gregory wanted to know if Donald Sterling should still be out “immediately.” Gregory then got Johnson say California is losing jobs to Texas because of too many regulations.

Rick Perry and his hipster glasses came on to defend the death penalty, although he did concede that states should kill people competently. He then outlined the GOP economic plan, which is to make America look more like Florida and Louisiana, by cutting taxes, dismantling regulations, and limiting lawsuits.

 

But the most absurd moments came when Gregory turned to his panel, consisting of Chuck Todd, conservative Kathleen Parker, Anita Dunn, tea party congressman Jason Chaffetz, and from the Black Eyes, singer will.i.am.

 

will.i.am was a bit out of his element, arguing for more educational opportunities for American children to kids from his neighborhood will go to Harvard, as kids from Brazil and India do, prompting Jason Chaffetz suggest abolishing the Dept. of Education.

 

Gregory displayed a poll showing millennials approve of President Obama by a margin of 53 to 40 percent, and asked will I am why the young people hate Obama so much, causing even Chuck Todd to question his math. Chaffetz said the EPA is killing jobs.

 

Gregory announced that because of a new House panel, the media is obliged to discuss Benghazi for the next few months at least, although neither he nor Chuck Todd could quite figure out what the scandal is supposed to be.

Chaffetz explained it was whether the attack was motivated by a video, which is apparently okay or terrorism, which is bad, or whether the White House used the word terrorism the same day, or the next day, or the day after. Frustrated by Chuck Todd's skepticism of a 48 hour long cover-up, Chaffetz explained it was like “the Taliban was in the inside of the State department.”

will.i.am only wanted to talk about education, and jobs and opportunities for all Americans, and what we can all do make this a better nation, making him the sane one on the panel.

And that's the most ridiculous thing that happened this Sunday.